that on-the-go trail running guide to wiping au naturel.
When you’re out trail running in the United Kingdom and find yourself caught short without toilet paper, fear not! Nature provides some surprisingly effective alternatives. Let’s explore a few options:
- Leaves
You can use broad, soft, and non-poisonous leaves to provide a smooth, abrasive-free wipe. Often, the underside of the leaves are fuzzier.
Mullein leaves are large, soft leaves and are abundant in the UK countryside. Look for them on the edges of trails or in open fields. They’re gentle on your skin and can be used as a natural wipe, they also have antibacterial properties.
Lamb’s Ear is another leafy option, it has a velvety texture and is known for its absorbency. It’s like nature’s own toilet paper.
My personal choice is the dock leaf, because it is large, recognisable and plentiful. Also potentially useful for nettle stings.
- Water
You can use water to rinse your bum, either from a stream, a puddle, or a water bottle. Water is the simplest and most hygienic option, but you may need to dry yourself afterwards using some of the other options listed.
- Smooth Rocks
If you’re near a stream or river, smooth rocks can serve as an emergency alternative. Look for flat, well-worn stones. Rinse them thoroughly before use. Consider it cold stone therapy for your nether region.
- Snow (Seasonal)
In colder months, fresh snow can be surprisingly effective. Just be sure to use clean, untouched snow. Ok, so it’s cold, and no one wants to consider the prospect of anal frostbite, but it gets the job done!
- Sticks and Twigs
Ah, the proverbial shitty-stick. Find a smooth stick or twig with rounded edges. Remove the bark and use it as you would a mini-roll of toilet paper. Make sure it’s free from sharp points. Sticks are easy to find and use, but not very gentle
- Moss
Moss is super-absorbent and can be found on tree trunks or rocks or in bogs in the form of sphagnum. Which also has antiseptic properties that can prevent infections, great for runners suffering piles or if you find yourself in the First World War. It’s like a little cushion for your tush.
- Pine cones
You can use soft, fluffy, and fresh pine cones to wipe your rear. They work, but only if you wipe ‘with the grain’. Pine cones are absorbent and textured, and naturally pine scented.
- Long grass
Ideal in its ubiquity. Grab handfuls of the stuff, and use unsparingly. Grassy ass? Thank you.
Remember to follow Leave No Trace principles even when using natural alternatives. Always choose materials that won’t harm the environment or disrupt local ecosystems. And if you’re a frequent trail runner, consider carrying a small reusable cloth or a biodegradable wet wipe in your trail running pack – it’s a more prepared way to handle those unexpected moments!
That | Trail | Run 